Saturday, January 18, 2020

The best of men, the best of friends

I think that I either ended 2019 or began 2020 on this blog by saying that I was (unreasonably) optimistic that this would be a better year, hoping that, unlike in the previous one, the good news might outstrip the bad.  Well, I'm afraid that things aren't going very well so far.  I think that it was 2nd January that I took a phone call from a dear friend, John McNamara of Golden Vale Stud in Co. Limerick, who was ringing to let me know that the health problems which he had been suffering in recent weeks had been confirmed as terminal cancer, and that the prognosis was for weeks rather than months.  Well, I'm afraid that the inevitable outcome came to pass yesterday, 17th January, as John passed away.

I'm so very pleased that I made a day-trip to Ireland on Monday to spend some time with John and his wife Terre in Milford Hospice in Limerick.  John, a wonderful man who went through life with great generosity of spirit and genuine joy of being alive, was in typically good form.  He was looking very well and we enjoyed the usual afternoon of laughter; and I came away thinking that I'd try to get over again in another couple of weeks.  Terre was telling me that she was hoping to take John on a couple of outings, including a trip home, and that she had been given the go-ahead to bring his favourite dog in to see him.  Nobody could have been more stoic and accepting of their fate than John was, telling me that he had not complaints as he had "lived a charmed life" and that his only concern was that Terre would be alright after he had gone.

Apparently John was still in good form on Thursday, three days later, when Terre was there.  He ate a good dinner and she went home looking forward to her visit the next day.  Then, as I found out when she called me at lunchtime yesterday (Friday), he went downhill very rapidly in the night and passed away early in the morning.  If I sound unmoved in this dispassionate account of events, I'm not.  Even when one knows that the end is coming and even when one recognises that the best of all options is to enjoy a good life and to enjoy it right up to the end, the passing of a very good man who has been a very good friend to me for over 25 years is very hard to swallow.

I first met John at Doncaster's St Leger Yearling Sale in 1994.  I was about to start training and was trying to buy an inexpensive yearling.  He had noticed me failing to do so on a few occasions and he had a little bay filly by Superlative out of Meanz Beanz, by High Top, whom he had failed to sell and for whom he was not asking very much, so he introduced himself and asked whether I might like to buy her.  Happily I did, both because she proved to be a little diamond who won for us (Meg's Memory) and also because this meeting led to my cherished friendship with John and Terre.

I rarely leave home nowadays but over the years Golden Vale Stud, between Kilmallock and Bruff, has been a loving home-from-home for me.  I've trained some winners bred by them and one whom they owned (Sangita at Warwick, which Terre recently told me John regarded as his biggest thrill in racing) and have rejoiced in the many successes of their proteges, most notably Grade One Aintree Hurdle winner Bimsey (who beat Pridwell and Make A Stand that day) and the listed winners Diamond Max (Prix du Ranelagh at Longchamp), Pelham (Easter Stakes at Kempton) and Conectis (La Brea Stakes at Santa Anita).  I particularly enjoyed the happy chance of being a pundit in the studio on At The Races one afternoon a couple of years ago when a two-year-old which they had bred won at Listowel, trained by Johnny Murtagh.  I don't tip many winners when I'm on the TV, but you can be sure that I tipped that one.

There are so many particular memories which I treasure.  But most of all I have treasured their friendship.  I was overwhelmed - and I do mean overwhelmed - when they appeared at my father's memorial service in Devon last May, travelling there and back in the day by flying in to Bristol and taking a taxi all the way down and back.  At the time I never dreamed that I would be attending John's funeral (which is tomorrow, the funeral mass across the way in Dromin at 12.30 followed by burial in Bruff) less than nine months later, but sadly that is the case.  Carpe diem.

4 comments:

Mr D Deveto said...

A very touching and lovelly blog John

glenn.pennington said...

Sorry to hear of the loss of a good friend John.

Your eulogy speaks volumes for the regard in which you held him, and (by the sound of it) him you.

TO said...

God bless. The words of a true friend.

neil kearns said...

So sad to read , remember a great night Pauline and I had with yourself and John somewhere near Ratooth where he almost convinced me into drinking Milk whilst consuming Guinness and it would ward off hangovers until the glint in his eye gave it away

Great fella , sad loss our condolences to you and Terre